My 2024

Bilingual Blog- English version is down below

现在是2025年的一月一号凌晨一点四十一，我应该写点什么。其实我明天要出去玩，后天就飞回UWC了。下次回来是五个月后，但没关系啊，我总得在我之前留下点什么，这篇文字就是其中之一。我现在在听《银河》by汪苏泷，合适且让我有灵感写下去。

什么是好？谁定义的好。

在互联网平台跨年总有一种“习俗”，那就是九宫格总结我的2024。当然我也不知道从哪一年开始，拼图让九张照片变成了八十一张；再到后来，直接变成卡点视频，或者是现在的live图。九宫格里拼九宫格，每一张还都会动。再拼下去，要变成幻影迷宫了，那些朋友圈里的照片我一张都看不清，也看不懂，顺手点个赞也就变成了我的下意识反应（当然也分人，是在尴尬的还是斟酌一下为妙，毕竟人还是有点尊严的）。

今年出奇的神奇。可能是我过的太糟，也有可能，是别人过得都太好。社交媒体总是这样，制造焦虑。人都是有波动的。毕竟我的2023，过得超级好。不论是学业还是感情还是生活还是爱好。这就是均值回归吗？

不过，我并不觉得我是一个容易被社媒欺骗的人，因为我也喜欢装的我过得很好。但这次，我承认我内心深处的否定让我没有勇气去承认是因为自己过得糟。我的2024就是随机混乱且不稳定的。在世俗观念里，这年，不好。在我心里，这年，陌生的我不知道怎么评判好与坏。我可以分析，反思，总结；但者未必是正确的方法，说不定在别人的视角里，我幸福的不行呢。希望我写到我的2025的时候，我能写：这年，世俗意义上，好。在我心里，也好。

在我眼里2024的一月一下子就到了12月，说来也恍惚。一年前的今天我在干什么？我完全不记得。每到这个时候我就会开始惋惜一下自己应该坚持下去的日记写作的习惯，哎 真是可惜

不过

我还是得对自己说：我已经真的很厉害了，干啥老否定自己？？我在怕什么。我到底在怕什么。标准又不是只有一个维度。这不是懦夫，比不过才说的话！人生就是多维的，要先做一个好的人，剩余都是辅助。2025我一定会节节高啊节节高，非常好的度过这一年。我会更加适应学校，我会获得一些好朋友，我会继续和我的朋友们在我不回来的五个月里保持联系，我会身体健康，我会获得所有我想要的结果！开年红，红运当头！我最爱小蛇了~

希望我和屏幕前的你今年一切顺利美满！！！

English Version：

It’s now 1:41 a.m. on January 1st, 2025. I feel like I should write something. I’m going out tomorrow, and flying off to UWC again the day after. I won’t be back for another five months, but that’s okay. I should leave something behind before I go — and this little entry is one of them. I’m listening to 《Galaxy》 by Wang Sulong. It fits the mood, and it’s giving me the inspiration to keep writing.

What even is "good"? Who defines it?

There’s this tradition on social media during New Year's — the classic 9-square grid to summarize the year. I don’t even remember when it started, but suddenly nine photos became eighty-one. Then came the auto-sync music videos, and now there are Live Photos everywhere. It's like we’re making mazes. And I can't see any of the photos clearly anymore. I don’t understand them either. I just double-tap like it’s a reflex (although depending on the person, sometimes I hesitate — dignity still matters).

This year feels...strangely strange. Maybe it’s because I had a rough year, or maybe it’s just that everyone else had an amazing one. Social media always does this — it manufactures anxiety. People are full of highs and lows. My 2023 was incredible — school, emotions, life, hobbies. Maybe this is just regression to the mean?

Still, I don’t think I’m someone easily fooled by social media. I enjoy pretending I’m doing great too. But this time, I admit: there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to face the fact that maybe I had a bad year. My 2024 was messy, chaotic, unstable. From a societal standpoint, not great. And to me? It felt unfamiliar. I didn’t even know how to label it as good or bad. I can analyze it, reflect on it, summarize it — but maybe those aren’t the right tools. From someone else’s view, maybe I was actually doing amazing. I hope that when I sit down to write about 2025, I can say: this year, by society’s standards, was good. And in my heart? Good, too.

In my eyes, January 2024 turned into December in the blink of an eye. It’s surreal. What was I doing on this day last year? I honestly don’t remember. Every time I think about it, I regret not keeping up my journaling habit. Such a shame.

But even so— to myself, I have to say: I’ve done really well. Why am I always doubting myself?? What am I afraid of? Seriously, what am I afraid of? There is no single measure of success. That line about how only losers say stuff like that?

That’s not true. Life is multi-dimensional. First, be a good person. Everything else is bonus. In 2025, I’ll rise, rise, rise. I’ll have a great year.

I’ll adjust better to school, I’ll make some good friends, I’ll stay connected with those I love during the five months I’m away, I’ll stay healthy, and I’ll achieve everything I set my heart on! Starting the year strong — red streak incoming! Lucky vibes activated! I love little snakes the most~

To me, and to you reading this on the other side of the screen — I hope 2025 is smooth, joyful, and full of light.