Summer and Unknown....

In the summer after I moved to the suburbs, the summers often found me awakened by the incessant chirping of cicadas.

Continuous, repeated, and unending. Those sounds will guide my way to the square box burning in my dreams.

If you listen more carefully, you'll find out the hum of the air conditioning intertwines with the clamorous cicada songs, crafting the undertone of summer. Also the industrial machines opposite the road and the piano melody from the 8-year-old upstairs neighbor. It is annoying! I lie on the bed and start imagining my UKNOWN future...

---

"Bye, MoM""Bye, DaD"

Another summer comes. Cicadas are still chirping. As I walked into the unknown.

I experienced a lot of firsts. It was my first time attending classes all in English, living in a dorm with three other people from different cities, eating at an international canteen, and running around campus to find my classroom. I also had to complete my math homework in English for the first time and use a computer to do my work. It was my first time wearing casual clothes around campus instead of a uniform. Most importantly, it was my first time being away from home for months, and "It felt like diving into a summer that was familiar, yet overwhelming." I was suffocated by my inability to find and build up my comfort zone from scratch. Meanwhile, I was engulfed by the rational mindset that prevented me from seeking REVENGE. (revenge might include: crying out loud to let everyone know or calling Mom at midnight to tell her I am dying). "It is not a big deal". "I am not a child anymore" These whispers from my deep heart surrounded me with the darkness. What a lonely night..//

---

"Efieeoooo~~efieooo~~"I screamed out our HOUSE chant in the gym, on the football field, beside the swimming pool, and in the theatre where we waved our flags.

Another summer is on its way. But this time, I am blessed and ready. (horayyy hahaha)

During orientation week, I first encountered our house chant when the principal was introducing the 11 houses, (PS: our house is an all-girls house). It was mostly the seniors leading the chant, their enthusiasm palpable. I couldn't help but wonder about the intensity of their passion. Peering into their eyes,I sensed that they carried stories, a multitude of experiences, a tapestry of narratives that must have danced through their minds as they chanted. Was it pride? Fulfillment? These emotions they harbored, I found myself yearning to understand. They had clearly been through a lot in this house and community.

Half a year later, my initial hunch had proved right (i will give a nod to my wisdom) As I move towards my senior year, I've lived through a variety of events and emotions that have deepened my connection to this place, which is a home to me now.  I realize I am building my own home once I am away. Maybe every roadway home is not exactly to be home, it is rather a short getaway and break from the new home I am building.(?

Sometimes, the noise of life can be overwhelming, it is still intruding into my personal space. Luckily, I find this year's summer background noise akin to the cicada's song; it becomes part of me as I go about my day. It's only when I dare to step outside this ' square box' I once dreamed of that I realize:

Everything in the world exists, simply and quietly, waiting for you to feel and embrace.

---

[Please check out my other blogs if ur curious about the experiences that have contributed to my growth and shaped who I am today. They are extremely unforgettable and meaningful]

THANKS FOR YOUR RADING.